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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Narcissism is All About Him

Narcissism is a character trait that involves self-admiration, self-centeredness, and self-regard. Everyone has some degree of narcissism. It is what motivates us to get dressed and wash our hair in the morning. However, like many things, narcissism falls on a spectrum.

To the far right end of this spectrum lies the extreme or pathological narcissist. This person's narcissism is so severe or abnormal that when diagnosed, is classified as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Very few people realize that NPD is a real disorder that has been recognized by the American Psychological Association since 1980. In the past, it was often referred to as megalomania. It is an extreme form of narcissism.

This type of pathological narcissism is maladaptive, rigid, and relentless. It is a lifelong pattern of traits and behavior, which signifies obsession with oneself to the exclusion of all others. A narcissist lacks empathy and engages in a ruthless pursuit of gratification and dominance.

An individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder has an excessive need for attention and admiration. This need is so intense that it severely damages the person's ability to maintain relationships. This is because they suffer from extreme selfishness and have no regard, whatsoever, for the needs and feelings of others.

This describes the men I have loved-selfish and consumed by their own needs to the point that eventually, they could no longer see me. It was as if I ceased to exist in their eyes. My story is about these men, or narcissists, in my life and I tell it so that others who find themselves in a similar situation can recognize it for what it is. Although much of what he does is unconscious, a narcissist is only out for himself. You must understand this. He enters into relationships with women in an effort to fulfill his unmet needs.

There are many psychological theories on how one develops narcissistic personality disorder. There is now recent research, which even suggests that personality disorders may have a genetic component.

I want to be clear that in no way am I qualified to offer a professional opinion on how this disorder develops in a person, nor will I attempt to do so. I share my story with you for a few reasons.

First, I have always found it incredibly healing to write. In my opinion, if you don't have a means to channel your pain, it will stay within you and become toxic. Writing has been a catharsis for me. Writing and music are outlets I cannot live without.

The second reason I share my story with you is because I have found hearing from others who have had a similar struggle as my own to be very helpful. The majority of literature on the topic of narcissism is written by mental health professionals and clinicians. While these individuals are extremely qualified, they have not experienced what it is like to try to love a narcissist. I do not believe one can truly understand what it is like to love a narcissist unless they have been through it themselves.

In my opinion, individuals who have experienced a similar struggle can connect with one another on a level that far supersedes any other form of therapy. I personally find it very powerful to talk to others who know first-hand what I'm going through. If I am able to connect with one person who relates to my story, and as a result seeks help and support, I will feel good about what I've done. There is help out there, and no one should go through the disillusionment of a narcissist alone.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_Scott

Dysfunctional Behaviors - May Be Rooted in Childhood Emotional Abuse

Do you know anyone who's struggling with any of these behaviors?

* self-esteem issues;
* dysfunctional emotions such as depression, hostility, apathy, hopelessness;
* substance abuse (drugs, alcohol, nicotine);
* abuse of others (physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and/or verbal);
* abuse of ourselves-self-mutilation (e.g. "cutting"), eating disorders (e.g. overeating, anorexia), etc.;
* inappropriate attachment to things (e.g. being a "shopaholic" or a hoarder) or situations;
* physical problems including fatigue, chronic colds and other infections, high blood pressure, heart disease, intestinal disorders, and skin problems.

Most likely, you do...and perhaps it's you.

Any given person can suffer one, two, several, or all of these disorders. Where do these problems come from?

The answer is as complex as are people, but it's a given that there's a cause behind every problem. Some trauma has occurred in this person's life, and it may go back as far as childhood. Furthermore, it may have gone undetected for so long because the cause may be an "invisible" one such as childhood emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse can be difficult to recognize, define, and address. The abuser can make the victim feel it's all in his or her imagination, or that it's the victim's fault. The victim may just feel that he or she is "crazy."

The outward manifestations of emotional pain on the list above are sometimes easier for the victim to deal with because they're visible, tangible, and "real." Physical pain may be "comforting" to a victim of childhood emotional abuse.

But none of these behaviors are beneficial to the victim of childhood emotional abuse or those around him or her. The sufferer should seek help and learn to deal with the trauma in a healthy way.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lisa_J._Lehr

Personality, Colors and the Changing Seasons

Modern man has largely lost natural rhythm as we do not live close to nature anymore, but one way we do emulate the seasonal rhythms is in our personality through color. The more sensitive we are to the vibrational energies of color, the more we are able to discern the color we require at any one time.

We have all experienced being drawn to a color on a certain day. When we are drawn towards a particular color, it is indicative of our needs for the energy of that color.

It is a fact that we are influenced by the fashionable colors for a specific season but these colors are not necessarily the colors which contribute to a person's well being.

* Spring colors are light and clear (tints),
* Summer colors are bright and intense (hues).
* Autumn sees deeper shades of color
* Winter's colors are soft and deep.

Our personality is linked to a season and we can find four distinct seasonal personalities.

THE WINTER PERSONALITY - COOL COLORS - Strong contrasting colors

Dramatic coloring, dark hair and eyes, also white/gray hair.

Seen as strong, self-assured and aloof, these people are in fact shy and prefer the peace of their own company. They have good career minds, are loyal and reliable in a crisis. They are good organizers and leaders.

THE SUMMER PERSONALITY - COOL COLORS - Blues and pinks

Gentle, calm and soft. Perfectionists who find it hard to accept acknowledgment for what they do. Good listeners, but analytical and judgmental. Find it hard to express their feelings, and often deny themselves opportunities to use their talents.

THE SPRING PERSONALITY - WARM COLORS - Green and corals

Lively, vivacious and effervescent. Impulsive, easy and responsive to the opportunities in life. They laugh a lot. Not well organized and often lack professional diplomacy. Fresh ideas but often have too many projects going at once. They make friends easily are positive and have natural energy.

THE AUTUMN PERSONALITY - WARM COLORS - Gold and brown

Earthy characters, independent and career-minded. Good organizers and can deal with many projects at one time. Capable of both depressive introversion and out-going fun. Like company but can be alone. Unpredictable, but warm and friendly.

Connecting to the rhythmic color energies of your world results in becoming part of the planets life force. The subtle powers of color become part of the person and enhances the quality of life.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nigel_Arding

Psychology and Mental Health - Indifference and Craziness

Many people believe that indifference is something natural and perfectly normal. However, what is indifference? What does it really mean?

Indifference is apathy, lack of sensitivity, lack of connection to the objective reality; in other words: it is an abnormality.

This means that one's natural reaction should never be indifference to the stimuli of the environment.

If you are indifferent to what is happening around you, this means that you are not paying attention to reality, which is first of all very dangerous, because if you don't pay attention to what is happening around you, you cannot defend yourself in case you are in trouble, since you don't notice anything.

Indifference is a cruel reaction to someone else's pain. If you don't care about other people's suffering, you may even provoke it to them, without understanding what you are doing.

If you are indifferent to your family, friends and all the people you know, you live alone, without any real contact with anyone.

The worst however is that indifference to what is bad and painful for somebody else is pure craziness. It is the beginning of the domination of your wild conscience in the conscious field.

When you are indifferent to other people's pain you become cold and cruel because your primitive and violent conscience dominates your human side. Then you gradually lose contact with the objective reality, coming to the point of murdering someone or committing suicide. Suicide is a hidden form of murder, because whoever commits suicide kills the people that care for them.

When you are dominated by the wild anti-conscience that destroys the human side of your brain, you are not able to understand the meaning of your actions.

You must prevent craziness and despair before it is too late!

Indifference and craziness are synonyms, even though our society believes that indifference is a neutral attitude.

Everyone is responsible for what is bad if they let it happen, and everyone has the moral obligation to save others when they are dying.

Indifference to what is terrible cannot help but be an absurd reaction before great danger. If you are indifferent to this warning, this is reason for real alarm.



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christina_Sponias